Cheney in 2012

Well, we tried to ignore it.  We tried to say that Dick Cheney would not run in 2012, and Dick Cheney has tried to say that as well, but there seems to be a growing movement pushing him towards 2012, so we’re going to go a bit more in depth as to what a Obama-Cheney fight would look like in 2012.
It would be a slaughter, in every situation but one.  That situation is a terrorist attack on the U.S. or a massive poopstorm in Afghanistan.  Obama’s biggest problem is going to be the 2011 deadline he set for Afghanistan (which, frankly, looks like a pretty transparent use of political expediency).  If his strategy doesn’t work, he’ll be in trouble in the War on Terror, and that’s the place where Cheney is the best attack dog.  The War on Terror has to be Obama’s biggest failure and the number one topic for Cheney to even have a chance at winning.  It’s still not a good chance.
Let’s look at why:
First off, Cheney’s probably not going to run.  He doesn’t want to, he’s said it like 20 times, and unlike everyone else who’s said that, I believe him.
Secondly, Cheney is despised by a lot of the country.  He’s the symbol of the neocon, and after this latest recession, the neocon has emerged largely discredited in every way.  Their foreign policy was an epic fail, their handling of civil liberties has been sub-par to say the least, and their clusterf*** in the Middle East hasn’t won them any proponents.  Not to mention Cheney has always had a cold, hard, mean streak that he can’t seem to kick.  He’s perhaps best known in the Bush Presidency for shooting a guy in the face, which Jon Stewart famously made fun of just by constantly repeating, “Vice President Dick Cheney has shot a man in the face.”
On other issues, he seems well-balanced, but really, who cares?  He’s for same-sex marriage, but I think you’d be hard pressed to find a gay voter who’s going to support Dick Cheney just because of that.  He’s a Republican and has been known to sacrifice his own agenda for the sake of the parties – in 2004, he briefly became pro-civil union – and he’ll do it again in the name of advancing his national security agenda.  Oh yeah, and he’ll be 71 with multiple heart surgeries under his belt at the time of the election.
It’s been 10 months, but torture still isn’t popular.  Give it time, maybe this’ll be a perk for him.  Regardless of buzz for him being president, I’m going to stick with his odds being absurdly small.  Don’t count on Cheney 2012.